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concludes with
Frodo (Elijah Wood) battling his inner demons,
which also happen to be outer demons in the form of wraiths
riding giant flying stegosauruses and carrying the ring of
rings into the heart of Mt. Doom where it will be destroyed
forever ending the evil reign of the eye in the sky, the
Goodyear Sauron. Meanwhile, Aragorn (Viggo Mortgensen) and
Gandalf (Ian MacKellan) and the rest of the Fellowship
members battle across middle earth with swords and
shaleighley's kicking the crap out of bad guys. Will Frodo
finally make it? Will the ring be destroyed? I don't know,
because the movie is so long I'm still sitting in the
theater watching it!
Don't get me wrong, it's very long. The problem could have
been solved by taking one of the twenty five distinct
endings in the last forty five minutes and picking
one....ring is destroyed.....Aragorn is King....Hobbits hang
out drinking ale dancing the tarantella on
tables.....Hobbits say goodbye.....boat goes to never never
land.....Sam goes back to the shire kicks out a couple
babies.....Arch falls asleep in his popcorn. This Tour de
Rings should have been released in stages. If Einstein had
seen this film it would have changed his theories on space
and time. |
